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Mike
Posts:1
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| 06/27/2010 12:02 AM |
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| I have to say the more I read, the more I wonder if in life you just get the opposite of what you are looking for. I love my wife more than anything. My wife has chronic pain and is addicted to pain meds. We used to make love quite often, and now after two kids, it's almost gone. I work two jobs so that she can be a stay at home mom. I am a firefighter that works a 24 on, 48 off shift. Most times, I am only home once ever three days and I am dog tired. I help with the kids, I do house work (dishes, laundry, vaccuming, cleaning, etc), I try to make sure she has time to herself away from me and our boys. I am lucky if we're together once a month. Most times it's once every three, four, or six months. And it's never on special occasions. I have no self confidence, I am miserable, depressed, and I spend too much money trying to buy happiness in so may different ways. I have never cheated on her, and I don't ever intend to. It just seems to me that the women that want sex (I have a friend/co-worker in the same boat), your husband isn't interested. Men that want more sex, your wife isn't interested. I don't know what to do anymore. I beg and plead, I get mad and frustrated, I've recently started smoking again, and sometimes drink too much. I still pray all the time for things to get better. It all just makes me sad. Why couldn't low/no sex drive women end up with the like men, and high sex drive men end up with the like women? I think ours lives and marriages would be much better... |
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abc
Posts:3
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| 07/04/2010 4:11 AM |
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| i understand your frustration & have often wondered the same thing myself but they do say opposites attract....to me self esteem & being depressed is killing me, i have 0% self esteem left & if it is at all possible it keeps getting lower all the time which causes my depression. i have tryed so hard to put him first all the time & boost his ego & affirm him as much as possible but even with all of that it did not help. i try looking really, really nice when i am with him & even when it is just us sitting @ home doing nothing so i guess it is just in their hands & GOD's hands & all we can do is just pray for them, us & whatever the future holds. |
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maallen3
Posts:8
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| 08/20/2010 9:42 AM |
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My husband and I had another argument last night about this. He wanted to play a video game, I wanted to have sex. I had asked for sex the two previous nights, but they were busy days I understood why he would say no. Yesterday, I hinted at it but didn't come right out and say it. I know if I'd said "I want sex" he would have stopped playing the game for me, but I felt kinda trapped. I wanted him happy, and he wanted his video game. So I tried to hold out and go without. But I as I lay in bed, my hormones raging, I just got angrier and angrier until I blew up. Now I feel bad.
We talked. He said he wants 4 to 12 hours notice before I want sex. It can't be 24 hours notice because he will forget, and it can't be less than 4 because he needs to plan out what he is doing on his video game. This is one of the solutions given by the men's book about women (telling your spouse several hours in advance that you want sex). I think it is kinda weird, but I will try it. I'll tell you guys if it works.
I wonder, has anyone run accross a good book for women in our situation?
If not, we need to write one. To show women who are frustrated, that they are not alone.
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abc
Posts:3
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| 09/01/2010 1:22 AM |
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| i am sorry 4 what u r going thru.....i know how frustrated i get so i can only imagine how frustrated u are b/c your situation seems a lil' far off from mine. i could not imagine m husband telling me to give him 4-12 notice, that just stinks--where is the fun in that? i guess all u can do is try it & see if it helps. i would also like to know if there is a book on this b/c u r right there really needs to be. i have a problem asking 4 it b/c i am scared of rejection & even though i do not think he would reject me 80% of the time, i feel as though he would say yes some out of pity & i do not want his pity. i want him to want me the way i want him or atleast a lil' more than what he does now. i am very frustrated b/c i do not know what to do either, i almost want him to go to the doctor & tell the doc to give him something b/c we are too young to already be having this issue. is once a week normal for a man? |
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